at Ragwater, Bitters and Blue Ruin
Go over there, she's got some interesting stuff, and she made me laugh too.
The curio shop with subversive gnomes? That's so funny to me. Those gnomes have always scared me. It's like they know something that I don't. And now I know...they do.
Those submersible Gnomes worry us all. Under cover of their garden rockery activities, Soubriquet Investigations has unearthed a plot so spine chilling... Under one suburban rockery, Soubriquet, using his patent 'shrinkometer' obtained access to a tiny intercontinental ballistic missile launch site. In the silos were little 'minute-man 3' missiles fuelled and ready, in the control room, one gnome, pistol outstretched, confronts another, "sir! Turn your key, sir, we have a launch order!" The other gnome, frantic, shouts "It's a drill, it's got to be a drill, oh my god, they'll call stand down, they must!" Sure enough, the tannoy bleats "All Gnome stations, all gnome stations, launch order is rescinded, return to defcon 3"
They stand down, mopping sweaty brows. They notice me, I smile politely- I'm from headquarters, just observing the drill.....
I make a steady retreat for the door, then leg it to the exit, a concealed tunnel behind the hydrangeas. Outside, gnomes are pushing wheelbarrows, fishing, as suburban gnomes do. The duplicitous beasts.