I am the grit in the gears, the missing bolt, I am the poker of sticks into spokes.
I like to know how things work, but sometimes when I take them apart and rebuild them, I have a few pieces left over.
I am a man, so I tend to leave reading the instructions until after it goes wrong.
And like all men I have a comprehensive mental map of the world and never need to ask directions.
I never get lost, only sometimes I'm late, or end up in the wrong place entirely.
It's what we do.
Some of you may recall the announcement by Soubriquet Labs of the July launch of our lighter-than-air horses. Here's the link. Well, the new, improved product is now available, in show and dressage form. Racing Helium-Horses are in the development stage:- We find that short spurts of jet-aided speed may at present lead to reduced buoyancy, and so we are retuning the DNA code to get a tighter and more calibrated sphincter. You can enquire about advance ordering, and get on the list, however. Here is a photograph of one of our show-horses. We recommend rather heavier shoes than the example in the picture, however, in order to avoid the 'curled-up' stance. Lighter shoes may lead to inverted flight.
I'm watching the live broadcast from Felix Baumgartners ascent toward the edge of space.
He's going the (moderately) slow way, at least compared to a rocket, his helium balloon is rising at almost a thousand feet per minute.
94,460 feet.
18 miles up.
102,000 feet now, the point at which Joe Kittinger jumped to make the highest ever parachute jump. Ascent slowing...........
He's going to jump.
128,000 feet
"popping the canopy....."
This is Felix Baumgartner's latest attempt to go beyond the furthest barriers set to man.
Sadly submerged in corporate sponsor branding. You'd be forgiven for thinking this is Red-Bull's idea, as you hear "Red Bull/Stratos being name-checked every few moments. But it's not. It's Baumgartner's mission.
Red Bull/Stratos are just the corporate sponsors, they're the moneybags, the facilitators, not the drivers. Just a necessary evil.
The highest any man has been in a balloon, is likely to be exceeded.
No sustained flight powered airplane is capable of this altitude. Oh yes, the X-15 rocketplane, launched from beneath the wing of a bomber in the stratosphere, has achieved a higher peak, 325,000ft.
Alexandr Fedotov, a Russian pilot holds the world altitude record, set on August 31, 1977, when his MiG E-266M reached 123,523 feet. That's still the limit for any plane that took off and landed itself.
And that again was an artificial lunge into the void, not something that could be sustained. Just an upward blip.
The highest sustained altitude flight for any plane is 85,000ft, held by the Lockheed SR71 Blackbird. He's currently 35,000 feet above that. Amazing. Incredible.
Soubriquet Labs is happy to announce that the new lightweight horses are now available. We recommend the carrying of sandbags and water-ballast during all long distance rides. Customers are warned against riding over water without wearing suitable flotation aids, as any outbursts of equine flatulence can result in a sudden loss of altitude.
