Grit in the Gears

I am the grit in the gears, the missing bolt, I am the poker of sticks into spokes. I like to know how things work, but sometimes when I take them apart and rebuild them, I have a few pieces left over. I am a man, so I tend to leave reading the instructions until after it goes wrong. And like all men I have a comprehensive mental map of the world and never need to ask directions. I never get lost, only sometimes I'm late, or end up in the wrong place entirely. It's what we do.

Friday, 14 November 2008

The Coolest Dancing Camel You'll See Today

Jonathan Richman and The Modern Lovers. The Lovers went on to form Talking Heads.

Just couldn't resist adding this, love the on-street bits......
The Bangles.

On Donkey Gifts for My Birthday....

Me. In my field.

The Red Dirt Mule, over on her blog, here... sent me birthday wishes, and because she is undeniably a Mule (and a very fine one, I may say..) and because I called her stubborn on one of her many past blogs, she decided to just... be a mule. She says I'm an ASS, so has taken to calling me Donkey.
You may have read about the troubles thai ladyboys go to, to become as authentic as possible women. Well, you may not of course... Umm. But lets assume you have, eh?
Believe me, that's nothing to the trouble a woman can take in becoming a genuine Mule. Stubborn-ness is not enough.
Imagine for a moment the length of time it takes to decide on the exact shade of mule... Sorrel? Bay? mmm Red?
Oh yes, Red.
Can you imagine what it costs, and how long it takes at the salon?
Bit of trimming?
Bit of waxing?
Clairol tankers waiting outside?
Maybe some eye shadow?
You ever seen mule lashes?
Then the hooves... shiny black?
or scarlet?
And the SHOES?
And the surgery.

It took a while, but here she is:-

Red Dirt Mule
(I just googled mule shoes... 7" platform mules, in crystal acrylic with l.e.d. lighting. The very mmm opposite of classy and understated, I couldn't bring myself to post a pic here. My god, the things women will endure. Many a time I've heard woman claim that high heels are something foisted upon them by men. But it's not men I see with their noses presssed against the shoe store window, it's not men who will buy a shoe that's the wrong size because it's the last one in the shop and they'll endure the pain because it's so lovely...)

Mule Shoe

She sent me, amongst other things on her birthday present post, a Donkey Piñata.

I wondered what it reminded me of... Then it started to grow! And mutate!

Like this!!!!!

And suddely I knew! It was a TROJAN PIÑATA!

Thanks, Red Dirt Mule!!!!!!!
I'm still laughing...

Oh. And by the way........