Grit in the Gears

I am the grit in the gears, the missing bolt, I am the poker of sticks into spokes. I like to know how things work, but sometimes when I take them apart and rebuild them, I have a few pieces left over. I am a man, so I tend to leave reading the instructions until after it goes wrong. And like all men I have a comprehensive mental map of the world and never need to ask directions. I never get lost, only sometimes I'm late, or end up in the wrong place entirely. It's what we do.

Tuesday, 3 July 2012

Patents Pending.

I went to the Patent Office yesterday to register some inventions. The lady at the main desk pulled out a form. She wrote down my personal info and then asked me what I had invented. I said, "well, a folding bottle, to start with" She said, "OK. And what have you called your folding bottle?" "A Fottle", I replied. "What else have you invented?" she queried. "A folding carton", I said. "And what have you called that?" she replied. "A Farton", I confirmed. She sniggered and said, "Those are silly names and one of them sounds a bit crude." I was so upset that I walked out without telling her about my folding bucket.

Flee! The Robots are Coming!!!!

'Calculord3' is on facebook. I don't do facebook, but for those of you who do, I'd suggest 'friending' a power-crazed, six-inch high monomaniac tyrant just might be your only hope of salvation.
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