I am the grit in the gears, the missing bolt, I am the poker of sticks into spokes.
I like to know how things work, but sometimes when I take them apart and rebuild them, I have a few pieces left over.
I am a man, so I tend to leave reading the instructions until after it goes wrong.
And like all men I have a comprehensive mental map of the world and never need to ask directions.
I never get lost, only sometimes I'm late, or end up in the wrong place entirely.
It's what we do.
I built these planters about four years ago. This one, in particular, keeps getting bashed, and this week someone really whacked it.
Not exactly invisible, with a silver-birch tree rising to about 8' above the gravel. I'd like to whack the person who did this about the head with a length of 4X2.
I've put it back together with several big steel bolts through the corners, tougher than the original coach-screws. But what I'd really like to do is to stick big steel tyre-ripper spikes in the ends. The company chairman says no. Can I put a microswitch in, that sets off a loud screaming?
On friday, I had a drive in a Renault Twizy.
A French-built electric... car? well, car seems a bit of an exaggeration, it's more like a four-wheeled electric scooter, classed, legally here, due to its low weight as a "Quadricycle".
Renault make several electric vehicles, a van, the electric Kangoo, a small car, the Zoe, and a midsize called the Fluence.
But then there's this little strange thing, called the Twizy. It's designed as an urban commuter, short distance, not fast. Range? About fifty miles. Top speed? Fifty miles per hour. It can carry two people, one passenger, behind the driver, preferably not too big a passenger. The 'doors' are an optional extra. more cosmetic than actual, there are no side windows, and, other than the passenger seat, no storage. So, if you're on a mission to the supermarket, don't overfill the trolley (cart).
One of our onsite companies sells solar panels and related items, and we recently fitted an electric vehicle charging point in our carpark.
They're taking various electric vehicles out to county shows and, while this was on site, I was offered a test drive. I'm a gearhead, am I going to say no?
Obviously, I couldn't film my test drive, so here's my co-worker, and a fearful passenger.
As you can imagine, people tend to stop and stare, because most of us have never seen a gadget like this out in the real world.
Don't think of it as a car, because it's not. Practical? Not yet, I'd say.More range, and a bit more luggage room. Here in britain we get rain, sleet, snow, and inclement weather. As an alternative to walking, it's pretty good, but as an alternative to a weather-sealed car, with heater, radio, etc? Not so much.
