Ladies, the perfect bosom is absolutely within your grasp, right now! All you need to do, is to send a small sum, (less than the price of a medium sized family car!), to Soubriquet Labs Inc., and you will receive the Prefessor's patented 'booby-moulder'. Just fill it with industrial-grade silicone, (supplied), connect to a standard wall-outlet, and delight in its wonderful massaging powers as it rebuilds your profile to the 'Marilyn', 'Madonna', or any one of a hundred settings.
As you will see, from our ad in French, below, using it is sheer and utter delight.
Ummm .... not to rain on your parade, but these ladies are shown hooked up to water faucets ... and you're advising they plug in to an electrical outlet??? Possibly you are attempting to sell a Kervorkian unit with misleading advertising ...
ReplyDeletexxx
Sell it to yon princess woman.
ReplyDeleteRDG: Maybe a little tingling, it's all a part of the treatment, and the current applied is mostly non-lethal. The Mark-I was problematic, but I truly think we've ironed out all the troubles with the Mark-III. Well, maybe not the tendency toward frizzy hair, but, no fatalities so far. As for the Mark-II, well, they've all been dismantled and disposed of, safely.
ReplyDeleteAdullamite: Which Princess had you in mind? I was thinking of a special discounted price on a gold-plated unit for royalty.
How about putting that considerable creativeness of yours to good use and design us ladies a 'tummy minimizer' - not one we have to wear - one that works permanently. If our tummies looked smaller our boobies would naturally look bigger ....
Deletethanks,
a devoted fan
Tingling is always very much part of the treatment.
DeleteYou're A. Tit-Mouse: The Soubriquet Patent Tummy Minimizer has been available for years, it's also known as the Reverse Binocular. An earlier version was patented as "Beer Goggles". Any excessive bulging in the waist area is proportionally diminished by beer consumed.
DeleteA: And I've gone all these years thinking 'Ting-Ling' is a town in China.
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