Sunday, 22 April 2012
Bath Room Tissue
This stuff is deeply flawed. When I tore off a few sheets to wash with, in the bath, the moment they got wet, they collapsed into pulp. And then, when I emptied the bath, they blocked the plughole.
If I see a sign that says "engine-room", I know there's likely to be an engine in there. Or that a "store-room" will be used for stores. But I can fairly well assume, in America, that most bath-rooms don't have baths. Unless that low thing, with a seat and a pool of cold water is a foot-bath.
It's not just America: here in Britain, though to a lesser extent you'll find euphemisms in denial of excretory functions. Especially where it concerns facilities for the ladies, they'll retire to the "powder-room" (powder-rooms, historically, supplied bags of gunpowder for loading cannons).... no, well powder-room's a bit archaic, most likely to be found in old hotels which are firmly stuck in the nineteen-fifties. Women still do say "I'm just going to powder my nose." men might say " "I'm just going to see a man about a dog"....
Cloak-rooms.. Who do you know who wears a cloak these days? How many superheroes are likely to need to pee in your local hotel? Whereas, in some countries, Finland, I know for sure, there's no shame whatever in saying you're just going for a shit and will be back shortly. And why should there be? We all do it, every day, so why, oh why, is there such a conspiracy in our world, to pretend we don't. Ever.
And girls don't fart.