Sunday, 22 April 2012

Bath Room Tissue

This stuff is deeply flawed. When I tore off a few sheets to wash with, in the bath, the moment they got wet, they collapsed into pulp. And then, when I emptied the bath, they blocked the plughole.

If I see a sign that says "engine-room", I know there's likely to be an engine in there. Or that a "store-room" will be used for stores. But I can fairly well assume, in America, that most bath-rooms don't have baths. Unless that low thing, with a seat and a pool of cold water is a foot-bath. 

It's not just America: here in Britain, though to a lesser extent you'll find euphemisms in denial of excretory functions. Especially where it concerns facilities for the ladies, they'll retire to the "powder-room" (powder-rooms, historically, supplied bags of gunpowder for loading cannons).... no, well powder-room's a bit archaic, most likely to be found in old hotels which are firmly stuck in the nineteen-fifties. Women still do say "I'm just going to powder my nose." men might say " "I'm just going to see a man about a dog"....
Cloak-rooms.. Who do you know who wears a cloak these days? How many superheroes are likely to need to pee in your local hotel? Whereas, in some countries, Finland, I know for sure, there's no shame whatever in saying you're just going for a shit and will be back shortly.  And why should there be? We all do it, every day, so why, oh why, is there such a conspiracy in our world, to pretend we don't. Ever.

And girls don't fart.

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  1. And they never stand up to pee!

  2. Does anyone actually find your blog interesting or entertaining? I find it to be resoundingly neither. I also could care less if I am deleted. I simply couldn't allow your drivel to pass by with no comment. You bleeding twat.

  3. Anonymous, obviously you found it interesting enough to read to the point where you had an opinion you felt you really had to put in the effort to comment.
    I'll leave your comment in, I like a little dissent, even when it's as feeble as yours.

    This blog's mission statement has never been too troubled about pleasing the peasantry.


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