Wednesday, 3 February 2010

Monkey Business.

Gary Rith has been hanging wit' the monkees recently. His new partner in crime is a sock monkey called Georges Le Soq.
Little does he know that there's a monkey in my kitchen cabinet. He's a famous monkey, in show-biz, you know, but it all got a bit much for him, he had a rather unfortunate.... What? oh. sorry, Munkey, I won't go into detail, I promise, nothing about the screaming....
So, anyway, he packed a small bag, left the metropolis and travelled north, where he rents living space in the kitchen cabinet.. What's that, Munkey? squalid? what do you mean, squalid? Oh. Well. I did clean the kitchen in July. It's not due for a while. Well I'm busy. NO! tapping at a keyboard IS real activity, Munkey, look, go make us a cup of tea, eh?
Seen here is Munkey, relaxing at home (next to a cup by The Real Harray Potter- Andrew Appleby, of Fursbreck Pottery, Harray, Orkney. Go to his site if you're a pottery lover).
In Munkey's earlier career, he became famous, with his pal, Al, advertising a digital television service which rather famously went dramatically defunct even before it was launched. Monkey went missing for some time, the stress of being associated with such a hugely failed launch was too much for him.
However, he returned, and he and Al teamed up again, working on a tea advertising portfolio.things seemed to be going well for them.

And the story behind the story...

Until the restaurant debacle.. and the start of the screaming...

So, a month or two back, I heard a knock on the door, and a wet monkey muttered, "I've come about the room"
"What room?" I said.
"The room you advertised in the 'Gazette' ".
"I didn't advertise a room"
At this, the monkey started to cry, brandishing handfuls of paper money "I can pay, I don't need much space, really, I... I... I've got nowhere else to go..." At this he started sobbing. Huge, gulping sobs, and I, cruel though I am, thought again. I put my foot back on the floor, that foot that was poised to launch the wet knitted monkey far out into the street, and for a moment, my heart softened. I snatched the suitcase full of money,  "That'll do as a deposit!", and I showed him to his room.
We get on alright. I'm tired of bananas. He cooks a good chili.

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