OCD Zoo-Keeper.

via Miss Cellania.

Tin Snail

I found this today, whilst searching for a replacement for my Land-Rover Discovery, which has reached the point of uneconomic repair.

(No, I'm not in the market for a tiny tin box, but the same place had a Discovery listed as "stunning" "meticulously maintained, truly the flagship of the Discovery range, first to see will buy, any inspection invited". First to see did not buy. I crawled under it in the rain and sank my thumb through the crunchy structural body side sill. Then through the rear floor. From underneath, I could see some not very good welding had been done elsewhere. The "immaculate" interior was worn and scruffy. Now, my car has been abused more than most, and had this one been worn by use, I wouldn't have run away. But it was being advertised as something it very definitely wasn't. It was a mess, and showed signs of bodged maintenance. When I can stick my thumb through structural metal, on a vehicle which has allegedly just passed its annual inspection, I walk away.)

This is a Nissan S-Cargo. A pun, for those without any french, on the french word "escargot", "snail". Also on "S" for "small", and Cargo, as it's a van.
They were built in Japan, for the domestic Japanese market, between 1989 and 1994. Only about 12,000 were produced.

I went into my archives, to my London Design Museum pictures, because seeing this funny little van both brought a smile to me, and a vague memory....

I can't remember who designed this, but it was 1930-ish, or before in time. French, I'm pretty sure, no indication of how the mechanical parts were to be laid out, rear engined, it would have to be. But it was never made, just this wooden mock-up.

Or this, the French Citroen 2CV van.

Drains Revisited, an Ongoing Saga

Digging for Victory-or for the fun of it?

What's down here, then?



Ooh! an old stone-built box-culvert! Underground history!, this'll be early1800s, let's take the top slab off-

The bright green is drain-tracing dye, we'll be looking for it in the drain to which we THINK this might connect...

Oh dear... It's going nowhere, just filling up the trench. More excavations then... better go get a mini-digger.

Ongoing... More digging next week. Lots of meetings, city surveyors, water authority surveyors, legal people, because it's not clear whose responsibility it is to maintain and repair this. The water authority says the culvert is a watercourse, which brings it into "riparian law", and the landowner is responsible for it. That's the city, then. But the city, fearing getting stuck with a rapidly mounting bill for repairs, says it's a private sewer, draining only the mill. That'll be us then... But hold on.. if it joins a drain serving anybody else, they share the costs, that's the city then, but if it's a joint sewer built before 1934, it's the water authority's.....
Let's play "Pass the Buck".
We can, legally, says the water-board man, just leave a hole and let the water spill out over the city's unmaintained land.
And if it floods a house, rented from the city, then there's no claim against us, because it's just surface water, and it was running through this land long before the city built houses on the farmland, and they failed to identify and locate all pre-existing drainage. And they allowed trees to grow over the drains/sewers/culverted water-courses.

Still, every cloud has a silver lining. From old experience I know this makes good earthenware potting clay, maybe I'll get a trailer-load.

I Thought I Needed a Bigger Camel,-

Until I saw this!

There's a World Going on Underground

This week, well, the last three weeks, really, have been mostly about rainfall management after the floods. Suction tankers, jetting tankers, underground pipe detection, myth, and legend.Below the industrial site where there has been a problem, there's an overgrown no-mans-land, of bramble and trees, and discarded junk. Somewhere beneath there, there are drains.

And two of them are at least partially blocked. In steady rain, they'll work fine, in heavy rain, well, if it's not too heavy, they'll cope, in a downpour, they'll be unable to carry the load. And then the water starts to rise up in the catch-pits, heading up toward the heavy iron covers. And if the rain is a deluge, they'll just overflow.
So, the first job is to open every chamber on site, and clear it, either by hand, shovelling, or by suction into a big vacuum tanker, or by washing down with a high pressure jetter.

We did all that, and found problems outside the site's boundaries. Some of the city's drainage guys had a look, passed the buck, multiple agencies pointed responsibility at each other, and promised action, but not in this lifetime. We have tenants whose businesses are at risk if there's a repeat of the storm we had two weeks ago, so we decided to find the problems ourselves.
First job was clearing the spiky undergrowth from the edge of the mill.

There are foxholes under all this, the foxes are not happy about our intrusion into this world where humans seldom venture, they retreat, deep underground, or flee in a flash of reddish coat, and white tail-tip.

Then we work off the drainage maps. "Approx line of existing surface water sewers".... Hahaha! a work of fantasy and fiction.

You find a manhole, and stick a camera in the pipes,

The camera is on a four-wheel drive chassis, it clambers along, sending live video back to the van, via the cable it drags behind.

Our regular camera survey man is a virtuoso of camera control, he guides it past roots, over steps, rocks, debris, engages traction-control over the slippy sections.. rotates the camera head to look at pipe junctions, distortions, cracks. We find some evil things. Broken and displaced drains.

from this..
to this!

I Don't Have a Television.

Visitors to this site from outside the U.K. may find it amusing and bizarre that in Britain, we are required to have a licence to watch television. (Not to own one, it's the USE of a television that is licenced, but retailers are REQUIRED BY LAW to inform TV Licensing of all purchases. )
Currently, a colour tv licence costs £142:50, ($233.o45), a black and white TV licence (when did you last see a b&w tv?) costs £48:00 per annum.
Historically, this was born when the British Broadcasting Corporation began broadcasting, as a means of funding it by its users, let's call it a radio tax.
It was called, then, a "Wireless Licence", it permitted the holder to operate "A Wireless Receiving Station", and it cost ten shillings, for a year.
(In 1920, for a skilled craftsman in the building trade, that was about half a day's wage.)
After 1971, the wireless licence was discontinued, and the Television licence took over as the main source of the BBC's income. All the activities of the BBC were so funded, except the BBC World Service, which received separate funding.
The BBC carried no commercial advertising whatsoever, which is often incomprehensible to foreigners, used to a commercial break every few minutes. BBC productions run uninterrupted, a fact of which I greatly approve. However, the beeb does advertise itself, upcoming programming, dvds, radio programs etc.
If I used only a satellite-dish connected TV to watch programs from Outer Mongolia, I would still require a licence.
If I view broadcast television on a computer monitor, laptop, or cellphone, I would require a licence.
It ignores the fact that the BBC is no longer the only game in town, and the requirement to have a TV licence is in no way reduced if you watch only commercial channels.

However, I have no TV, I don't watch any device amounting to a TV at home, I do see it at other people's houses, and at no point do I get any yearning to have one myself. I can go to my mother's house, flick through a huge number of channels and find nothing whatsoever that I want to watch.
I like some of the discovery channel, history channel, I like Top Gear, a quirky motoring show, I like Scrapheap Challenge, I like engineering, and history, and especially both combined.
But I have no interest in soap opera, reality TV contests, people who think they have talent, awards shows, tv sport, Yaaaaaaawn!
So I have no TV.
The TV Licensing Authority, which sounds quite governmental, but in reality is a trademarked name owned and operated by the BBC, cannot comprehend that there are people who choose not to have televisions. I admit, I had one, for years, I unplugged it whilst decorating, and it sat there gathering dust for several years, so I gave it away.


To the TVLA, any address without a TV licence is suspect, and it harasses the occupants with threatening letters, says it's sending enforcement officers, will apply for a warrant to enter and search... It assumes guilt, contrary to the principles of the law of the land. I just received one of their threatening missives, having already told them I do not have a TV, so I went to the BBC's website, found the complaints procedure and sent this:-

*I received, recently, a notice from TV licensing which implied that by not having a TV licence, I was probably guilty of an offence.
I found this notice to be threatening in tone, containing implied threats.

Why am I writing to the BBC? because TV Licensing IS the BBC.

I quote:- "TV Licensing" is a trade mark of the BBC and is used under licence by companies contracted by the BBC to administer the collection of television licence fees and enforcement of the television licensing system. The majority of administration is contracted to Capita Business Services Ltd, with cash related payment schemes contracted to Revenues Management Services Ltd. Over-the-counter services are contracted to PayPoint Plc. Marketing and public relations activities are contracted to the AMV Consortium. This consortium is made up of the following four companies: Abbott Mead Vickers BBDO Ltd, Fishburn Hedges Boys Williams Ltd, PHD Media Ltd and Proximity London Ltd. The BBC is a public authority in respect of its television licensing functions and retains overall responsibility."

I do not have a television, I do not watch or record broadcast TV.
I have told TV licensing this, in the past. However, their assumption appears to be that all homes (and workplaces) must have a licence, as they cannot comprehend that there are sectors of the populace who have no interest in watching TV.
In continuation of this delusion, even after I have told them I do not have a television, nor do I watch or record broadcast TV, they have told me that they may send an enforcement officer to search my home.
This threatening behaviour runs contrary to the principles of United Kingdom law.

I do not have a pilot's licence. At no point has the civil aviation authority contacted me to demand proof that I do not need one, and at no point have they threatened to search my home for a hidden clandestine jumbo-jet.

At this point, I hereby inform the BBC that any implied consent to access by its employees or assignees to visit my home is withdrawn as of the moment of sending this email.
Any further threatening letters will be taken to be harassment.

If you think you have evidence that disproves my statement that I do not watch TV at this address, you are free to lay that evidence before a court.

I suggest you reply to me that you are apologetic for the actions of your (the BBC's) assignees, and will cease, immediately, implying that I am guilty of the offence of watching or receiving broadcast television without a licence.

If at some point in the future, I decide to embrace the cornucopia of riches that is TV, I will purchase a licence, thus informing you of my change of heart.

Until that point, my declaration stands. I do not have a TV licence, because I do not need a TV licence."

Update (not an unexpected sort of response):-

"Dear Mr ******
Thanks for your e-mail regarding the TV Licence.

This department, unfortunately, only can deal with queries and complaints about the Licence Fee when they're related to how we choose to spend it on programmes and services.
To proceed with your complaints you will need to contact TV licensing direct. They can be contacted by writing to:
Customer Relations
TV Licensing
Bristol
BS98 1TL

You may also find their website http://www.tvlicensing.co.uk/index.jsp of interest.
(The BBC isn't responsible for the content of external websites)
I'd like to take this opportunity however, to assure you that I've recorded your comments onto our audience log. This is an internal daily report of audience feedback which is circulated to many BBC staff including senior management, producers and channel controllers.
Thanks again for taking the time to contact us with your concerns.

Regards
**** *******
BBC Complaints".



"Our TV detector vans are equipped with state-of-the-art detection equipment which can tell in just 20 seconds whether you are using TV.

How do the detector vans work?
-
Our vans feature a range of detection tools. Some aspects of the equipment have been developed in such secrecy that engineers working on specific detection methods work in isolation, so not even they know how the other detection methods work. This gives us the best chance of catching licence evaders.

What if you can't get close enough to detect my TV from your van? -
Our Enforcement Officers may use a hand-held detection device instead. This measures both the direction and the strength of a TV signal, making it easy for us to locate TV receiving equipment in even the hardest to reach places."

This technology is so secret that the BBC refuse to disclose it, and just how many detector vans they actually have. Some people believe it's all a bluff, and the vans are really empty. Nobody seems to be able to find ANY case of anyone being prosecuted using detector van evidence.
The vans seem to get parked in town car parks and supermarkets as a high visibility reminder that big brother is watching us.
It's probable that the real humans just look for the tell-tale blueish flickering light from unlicensed adresses, then march up to the door and say "Gotcha!". In my case, I might be watching a dvd or a youtube. .

Here's a good quote from their own website:-
"An Enforcement Officer knocked on the door of a suspected evader and asked if he had a TV, to which the owner said he did not.
The officer then asked, "Well then, why have you got a satellite dish on the outside of your house?"
The man looked down and said with a grin, "I have two pints of milk on my doorstep, son, but I don't have a cow in the garden!"

Wired for Sound.

Yes, I know, I'm just a shill for Sony's advertising campaign.
The town in the video, is Seyðisfjörður, on the western edge of Iceland. I've been there, my bike and some other stuff were sent to me from England, via an Icelandic trawler, it was a lot cheaper than normal freight, but.....
It was supposed to come to Reykjavik, where I was living, in a couple of weeks, but the skipper diverted to the north, found good fishing, landed his catch in Norway, went out toward Jan Mayen to get more. That was five weeks...I got a message to say the nearest he'd be coming to Reykjavik for another month was Seyðisfjörður, to land his catch, and take on more ice.
So I decided to take a few days off work and take the slow bus, and my trusty little tent, around the south of iceland, up the crinkly west coast, and retrieve my bike.
Ha!
I had to bribe a guy at the fish dock to steam-clean it.
Never ship a bike on a trawler. It will arrive all pearly with fish-scales, and the stink of cod.

An Anglo-Saxon Hoard

Recently found in Britain by a metal detector. The hoard of gold and silver contained about fifteen hundred items, the biggest such find ever in Britain. It was buried in what is now south Staffordshire, archaeologists believe, in the seventh century .
More HERE.

All of the pieces are believed to be from weapons and armour, I'm staggered by the quality of craftsmanship here, from a time we think of as the primitive "Dark Ages". Oh how I wish I could stumble across things like this in the muddy stubble of a field. Yes, it's worth a huge sum, in monetary terms, but I don't care, I'd just love to find something like this, rub the mud away, and keep it as a thing of beauty, and a thing of mystery, I'd muse about the people who made it, those who carried it, chieftains, princes, the king, perhaps of the kingdom of Mercia. Or were these, perhaps trophies of battles against others?

This one in particular... I want it.