Thursday, 1 February 2007

Something for the Ladies (but not the ones in Boston)




I think these would be very tasteful at a formal event, the opera, etcetera. There's more. Illuminated clothing by Janet Hansen at enlighted.com
(Via BoingBoing)

How about a glowing brain and nervous system?





I'm a Joker...

Steve Miller Band.

Is it Thursday?

Is it thursday? I didn't know, lost track. I would have said wednesday. Went to see the doc this morning... She asked a few questions, listened to my chest, looked down my throat, felt various bits, laughed, and described the symptoms of the last few days. I raised one eyebrow, like james bond does... She missed that and asked why my face was twitching. I said I was trying not to sneeze, Go ahead, handing me a superstrong aerospace kevlar-weave tissue. So I did. A really good one, y'know, where it feels as though half a pound of brain went too. She stretched out a hand for the tissue. I clutched it, looking for a bin.. But she spun out of her seat, kicked me lightly, left right, on the temples, and whilst i was stunned, grabbed the tissue... AND PEELED IT OPEN! ARGH!!!!
Green snot and clotted blood. She hit a button on her desk.... "Code 9!" she yelled. Two nurses rushed in and pinned me. Like hounds, but with scented starchy bosoms in my face. We men can endure hours of that. A needle in my arm, and I was floating. A bottle of blood taken, pressures, patch the needle hole.... Fluids, she yelled and they had me on a tea drip in no time. So, here i am, antibioticked to the gunwales, and feeling better. much.
I might have exaggerated a little there, but i was confused.

Gnomesville: A warning.

I'm a bit troubled here, The site counter is a clever thing.. I can find out all sorts of things from it. Like, how deep you like your bathwater, what you had for breakfast, and it lets me look out of your computer screen.... It tells me where visitors are (approximately.. the other bit was a fib... it narrows your location down a bit, I still can't quite tell which of several million people you really are)(except by looking out of your screen, of course)....
Anyway. This morning.
I've been checked out By the Western Australia State Emergency Services....
At 9:30 this morning a computer from there logged on to peruse my comments about gnomery.... As I've said, I deplore the Gnomesville Massacre, I believe it's time for a dialogue with the gnomes.... But I can't deny I'm a bit scared now. Maybe they think it was my earlier gnome post that sparked it off? Thwocketa Thwocketa Thwocketa.... Helicopters are coming, flying upside down... that means they're Australian Oh migod.. run, hide, panic, scrub the hard drives, special forces, abseil.... Oh, hang on. Helicopters. upside down. Phew.They haven't thought this through. Abseil. Rotor. eggwhisk. So, it's a stand-off then.If they land, the lawn gets a short trim. I think I may have time to tunnel my way out, emerge from a manhole down the street and stroll away.
If I don't post for a while, it means they got me, and are dragging me back to a land down under, (where the women glow and men plunder), That gives me an Idea.. (Ping!) vegemite... If I make a plateful of vegimite sandwiches, and open some beer. Cricket ball! Somewhere, I'll pretend I know about cricket, we'll be mates, my great uncle was at Gallipoli...
Surely they'll know I'm not a gnome basher? Surely. Dig? or sandwich? Oh god, they call 'em 'diggers', SwingKitty'd know what to do, but she's off the radar... Vegemite then.
If you don't hear from me, go to Amnesty International and report the circumstances of my disappearance, picket embassies, blog, oh, save me, save me, I'll never make fun of the cultural amenities of Dardanup, Western Australia, again, I swear it!

I think the Aussie Police should look into this instead:
From: 
To: "'*******@****.org.au'" (**************)
Subject: gnomes
Date: Fri, 8 Nov 2002 15:46:29 -0000 
hello I have just looked at your web page about the garden gnomes. I was one of the founders of the UHV AREA /G.A.C.B (gnomes against cigarette butts) my idea was to breed Daresbury gnomes to outwit smokers at the Daresbury Laboratory, with 01. It went horribly wrong one night in the lab, when we bred a smoking mutant gnome, which escaped, and went rampaging, and killing the others, we had to stop him quickly before he killed all the G.A.C.B. We tried the Daresbury lab cats but they was too fat living a life of riley on D/L food. 01 and myself (00) laid down traps but to no avail, so ended the last bastion of G.A.C.M.
We had a very very cunning plan in the pipeline and withheld it till last Christmas 2001, Santa's grotto was born to entice him in seeing Santa at work, Santa gave him his present, jelly gnomes laced with T.M.G.VIRUS. It was a horrible death but it was worth it. Now we have to wait, for the land is cursed, for a year and a day so smokers, beware! -the Daresbury gnomes will return someday.
Regards 00.

Wednesday, 31 January 2007

Pam's Moods, Kilburn & The High Roads feat. Ian Dury, 1975.



Stop press:I did some comparing and fiddling with the html, which is a mystery to me, and killed the autoplay. Hooray. I realise, for many of you, that's something you can do with your eyes shut. But I'm rather pleased with myself...
In case, just in case you're wondering, I didn't want this to autoplay.... and I don't know enough to tweak the code goear.com provides. They do two forms.. Play on demand or autoplay. The p.o.d., code doesn't pop the player up at all. So please don't curse me for autostarting music, I'm against it too. The alternative is to kill this post.... Well, I could go interactive. Mythical reader? leave a comment. first ten comments, (from different people) in favour of killing it or keeping it, I'll act. I'm fairly safe there. I'm not convinced that many people care either way.
Comments generally would be nice though, about any of the posts, or almost anything....

When me and Pam
Are hand in hand
We make a lovely pair
But when we fight
Her awful spite
Is more than I can bear

She give me the business, I lose all self control
The curse of fifty witches making wormwood of my soul

A life of broken china sneering yellow hate
Ohh, derision and contumely, things that nauseate

Ruptures of the psyche, vexation in the head
Poison in my coffee and needles in my bed
Mischief in the midriff, tensions of the spine
Ohhh, underhand aspersions that really are unkind

Pam’s moods ,
Pam's moods,
Pam’s moods ,
Pam's moooooods,

An abject little toady her scolding makes of me
Ooooh, why is she so bitter every time we disagree?

Pam’s moods etc... lots of times........

Aaaaahaaahaaaaaa!

Tuesday, 30 January 2007

"Rose of Sharon" (1778) by William Billings

"I am the rose of Sharon,
and the lily of the valleys..."
-- Song of Solomon, 2:1-11

I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valley;
I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valley;
As the lily among the thorns, so is my love among the daughters,
As the apple tree, the apple tree among the trees of the wood,
so is my beloved among the sons, so is my beloved among the sons.
I sat down under his shadow with great delight,
And his fruit was sweet to my taste;
And his fruit, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.

He brought me to the banqueting house
His banner over me was love,
He brought me to the banqueting house
His banner over me was love.

Stay me with flagons,
Comfort me with apples, for I am sick,
for I am sick, for I am sick of love;
I charge you, O ye daughters of Jerusalem,
By the roses, and by the hinds of the field,
That you stir not up,
That you stir not up,
That you stir not up,
that you stir not up, nor awake, awake,
awake, awake, my love, till he please.

The voice of my beloved,
Behold! he cometh,
leaping upon the mountains skipping,
skipping, skipping, skipping,
leaping upon the mountains, skipping upon the hills.

The voice of my beloved,
Behold! he cometh,
leaping upon the mountains skipping,
skipping, skipping, skipping,
leaping upon the mountains, skipping upon the hills.

My beloved spake,
And said unto me,
Rise up,
Rise up,
Rise up,
Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.
For lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone.
For lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone,
the rain is over, the rain is over and gone.
For lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone.

Bear on the Running Machine

Poor Bakkom the bear. His life's a bit like mine, everything he touches seems to be fighting him..