Grit in the Gears

I am the grit in the gears, the missing bolt, I am the poker of sticks into spokes. I like to know how things work, but sometimes when I take them apart and rebuild them, I have a few pieces left over. I am a man, so I tend to leave reading the instructions until after it goes wrong. And like all men I have a comprehensive mental map of the world and never need to ask directions. I never get lost, only sometimes I'm late, or end up in the wrong place entirely. It's what we do.

Sunday, 21 January 2007

Those Subliminal Gnomes

These gnomes were borrowed from Rozanne,
at Ragwater, Bitters and Blue Ruin
Go over there, she's got some interesting stuff, and she made me laugh too.

Gnomery:

Thanks are due to mist1, who spotted the significance of the subversive gnomes in the post about Delores. We all see them, sitting idly by ponds, wheeling barrows through the rockery. It occurred to me it was time to find out more. If any of you have more knowledge or documentation of their dastardly deeds, please post it in a comment. The blogosphere should be warned.

mist1 said...: The curio shop with subversive gnomes? That's so funny to me. Those gnomes have always scared me. It's like they know something that I don't. And now I know...they do.; 20 January 2007 16:51
soubriquet said...: Those submersible Gnomes worry us all. Under cover of their garden rockery activities, Soubriquet Investigations has unearthed a plot so spine chilling... Under one suburban rockery, Soubriquet, using his patent 'shrinkometer' obtained access to a tiny intercontinental ballistic missile launch site. In the silos were little 'minute-man 3' missiles fuelled and ready, in the control room, one gnome, pistol outstretched, confronts another, "sir! Turn your key, sir, we have a launch order!" The other gnome, frantic, shouts "It's a drill, it's got to be a drill, oh my god, they'll call stand down, they must!" Sure enough, the tannoy bleats "All Gnome stations, all gnome stations, launch order is rescinded, return to defcon 3"
They stand down, mopping sweaty brows. They notice me, I smile politely- I'm from headquarters, just observing the drill.....
I make a steady retreat for the door, then leg it to the exit, a concealed tunnel behind the hydrangeas. Outside, gnomes are pushing wheelbarrows, fishing, as suburban gnomes do. The duplicitous beasts.