Grit in the Gears

I am the grit in the gears, the missing bolt, I am the poker of sticks into spokes. I like to know how things work, but sometimes when I take them apart and rebuild them, I have a few pieces left over. I am a man, so I tend to leave reading the instructions until after it goes wrong. And like all men I have a comprehensive mental map of the world and never need to ask directions. I never get lost, only sometimes I'm late, or end up in the wrong place entirely. It's what we do.

Saturday, 18 August 2012

Some of My Past Toys

Disclaimer: They're not necessarily all 'mine', I'm also good at borrowing stuff.

My Outdoor Camping Aspirations.

Red Dirt Girl posted this Red Land Rover picture, on her latest "Frivolous Friday", with these words:

"Soub is moving house
He lives in tented splendor
Have wheels will travel."

Now, it's true I'm a bit of a Land-Rover addict and have had several in the past, only owning two right now.... But the one in the picture is not actually mine, though, like the obsessive rivet counter that I am, I could tell you altogether far more than any sane person would ever need to know about it.

She'd want it RED, but me, I'm a muted colour guy. Dull green, military matt, suits me. I like to blend into the landscape, rather than have irate people pointing at me from miles away.

And these days, I think I'd like a bit more comfort than a tent on the roof. (been there, done that). Besides, I'd be expecting her to come along on my expedition.

So. How about a Unimog camper? 6X6, by German company Unicat? The off-road reliability of a Unimog is unbelievable, and Unicat build some pretty good bodies for them, even, like this, with slide-out sides.

Or there's a raised top version. The interior pictures below are raised top, In normal travel, the top of the vehicle is lowered, covering the windows, which makes it pretty secure in world travel. When camping, you raise it, getting extra headroom, and an upper deck bedroom.

Raised top. Note the rear body angle. No grounding on steep climbs.

I'd say there's a tad too much seating there.I wouldn't plan to be hosting big dinner-parties.

Kitchen is good, blogging desk at the rear, opposite the shower and w.c.

But if we're being really crazy? How about a M.A.N. Kat 6X6?

Or the ultimate go anywhere madness, a M.A.N. Kat 8X8 from Action Works in Austria?

The original military specification for this vehicle was that it had to go anywhere a main battle-tank could go, and just as rapidly.

Consequently, desert-racing in the Paris Dakar rally is all in a day's work for it.

For a space age look, how about one based on these modern all-terrain airfield fire-tenders?
Paint this in silver and it would fit into any sci-fi movie.

As it is, I could not afford to even fill the fuel tank......

Unintentional Sculptures

One of the many interesting places I visit at work, on a regular basis, is a warehouse where casting forms are made and stored. Most of these pieces are used to make the foundry moulds for cast-iron pumps and turbines. The people who work there are just ordinary working men. They take the plans from the designers and turn them into three-dimensional forms of the spaces outside a cast-iron part.

And in doing so, they create what to me are artworks to rival any sculptures I've seen in a gallery.

I walk in here, and I imagine just one of these pieces displayed at the centre of an upmarket gallery, spotlit, with people standing around, drinking wine, and discussing the allegorical nature of the artist's message.

I like the ancient look of this, and the form appeals to my potter's heart.

These pieces always make me think of the works of Eduardo Paolozzi.

Paolozzi

Thursday, 16 August 2012

Big Houses? 'Gated communities?' It's Nothing New.

View from the village.

And the reciprocal view. Just a cannon-shot away, if the neighbours annoy you.

An invader's view from the beach.

A long way to lug all your siege equipment, and not exactly easy going with the heavy stuff.

And when you get closer, after all that trudging through the dunes, you find it's all uphill from here

You might just want to stop, sit down, and rethink the whole invasion thing at this point.

I mean, how heavy is a cannonball? And how many have you brought? Need to go back to the ships for a few more?

(This post is an interim one. I did manage a successful invasion, and took photographs, but it's ten-thirty at night and I'm running out of steam.)

A Safety Inspection.

In some of my life, I'm a gas heating engineer, and a part of the job is carrying out service and safety inspections. This is a childcare facility.
Last year they were issued with a warning notice about storing flammable items (cans of paint, cleaning fluids, aerosol cans, cardboard, plastic toys) in the compartment holding a very big 60 Kilowatt ducted space-heater. Oh. And they were also warned about blocking the ventilation grilles.

See anything wrong with this scenario?

Would you trust these 'trained professional childminders' with your child's life?

Tuesday, 14 August 2012

A Bookshop, and Stationary Store

On Sunday, I thought I'd go for a drive, my sister was visiting and I suggested heading vaguely northward.At the outset, I was thinking of taking the Great North Road (these days mostly known as the A1, or A1M), and heading for Thirsk, then meandering over the North York Moors toward the coast. Or maybe heading west toward Carlisle? No definite plan anyway. Then, once on the highway, a thought popped up. Bamburgh! At Bamburgh, in northumbria, there's a mighty castle raised up over the seacoast and countryside, it's everything you might imagine a castle to be. I've passed it en-route to Scotland, many a time, I've watched horses gallop on the beach below it, but I've never, until now, been inside.

North of Newcastle, I left the major route and headed for smaller roads, nearer the sea. I have a fascination for the sea. I love it. I think, maybe, way back, some of my ancestors were vikings, driving their boats onto the beaches of the north-eastern shores of britain. Planning, perhaps another tour of pillaging the monasteries of their treasure. A lot of those Vikings liked what they saw over here, cashed in their return ticket, bought a couple of cows, married local girls, and lived happily ever after.

Bookshop? yes, I'm getting there.

Up the coast from Newcastle, you pass castle after castle, castles are everywhere...

Warkworth, for instance,

Warkworth

The twin-arch bridge over the river Coquet has a mediaeval gatehouse at the southern end.

Over 600 years of service

Alnwick Castle, (Pic via Wikipedia)

Dunstanburgh

In Alnwick, however, feeling that it might be time to stop and find a cafe, serendipitous happenstance, I looked out of my window and saw a sign saying Barter Books. So I hooked a quick left into the old Alnwick Station car-park. Barter Books. I first hear of it when the 'Keep Calm and Carry On' poster was being talked about on the radio, apparently it all started when the owners of Barter Books in Alnwick were unpacking a box of second hand books and found, in the bottom, a folded wartime poster. They had it framed and hung it in the bookstore, visitors loved it and wanted to buy it, so they had 'Keep Calm' posters reprinted, the rest is history. The poster was printed by the Ministry of Information, but never went into general circulation. After the war, all the posters were pulped. Or so it was thought. Two seemed to have survived. Then someone found fifteen originals in an old trunk in the attic. But the poster's popularity started with Barter Books. And I, looking for the history, had visited Barter's website, and found their shop to be the coolest bookshop I could imagine, built into an old station, a bibliophile's dream. Writers quotes festoon the place, a huge mural of famous writers adorns the wall, comfortable seats, tea/coffee/cookies with an honesty box, a station buffet serving up meals in the old waiting rooms, leather chesterfields..

Oh my.