Hold the Coffee

Mumblers

There's a disturbing trend in women's clothing. Now, ladies, you've all seen men in overtight jeans, or Speedos.*
You know; the ones that give you too much information?

Anyway, in recent times, there's been a disturbing rise in the female equivalent. It was a while ago, I was at the pub with my pal Ken the box, and he was dispassionately eyeing the barmaid "Mumblers.", he said. "What?" "Mumblers, she's wearing mumblers."

I looked blankly at him. "Elucidate".

"Mumblers, " he repeated... Those pants.... I can see her lips move but I'm not sure what she's saying".

Ladies. Please!
It's not a good look.
Well, I suppose if you work in the "Spearmint Rhino" bar it might be de-rigeur business-wear, or handy if you're a russian nymphet hoping to snag a seventy-year-old industrialist.

*Australians have a name for tight Speedos, -'Budgie Smugglers"

Unfilled Vacancy in Fairy World! Apply Now!

No Caption Required

Relax Max recently posted something about winged helmets, which got a rather mixed reaction,  Boris Legradic is a fervent wearer of them, who swears by their pulling power, whereas Stephanie Barr, the Rocket Scientist, says they're not babe magnets at all. She thinks only men think they're cool.

The above pic suggests otherwise. I ran through a lot of captions, or dialogue for the scene portrayed.
I snorted my drink messily a couple of times and decided that I didn't have a caption I dared post. I'll leave it to you to supply your own.

A Man Young And Old: III. The Mermaid

A mermaid found a swimming lad,

Picked him for her own,

Pressed her body to his body,

Laughed; and plunging down

Forgot in cruel happiness

That even lovers drown.

William Butler Yeats

i will wade out e.e. cummings

i will wade out
                        till my thighs are steeped in burning flowers
I will take the sun in my mouth
and leap into the ripe air
                                       Alive
                                                 with closed eyes
to dash against darkness
                                       in the sleeping curves of my body
Shall enter fingers of smooth mastery
with chasteness of sea-girls
                                            Will i complete the mystery
                                            of my flesh
I will rise
               After a thousand years
lipping
flowers
             And set my teeth in the silver of the moon

Fish/Bicycle: Results still coming in.

 

We think Mermaids might be commuting to work by bicycle.

 

This one, however, seemed abandoned.

 

No comment.

 

Still unproven...

 

This Vietnamese man advertises "Bicycle rides for fish" by the harbour. He is unable to keep up with demand and is now employing seventeen more riders.

 

This slogan alters the phrase, and thus suggests that a bicycle, non-sentient, has no knowledge of fish, and no need of fish, then a man would have no knowledge or need of a woman. Note the capitalisation of woman, the lower-case man, note how the t-shirt maker, and perhaps wearer fail to understand subject and predicate. The slogan on this shirt might be more aptly worn by a gay male, though even then it would denote enormous ignorance of how much his world is formed by women, and the bigger, much bigger, undeniable truth that no man, no matter how gay, no matter how much he rejects women, has come into this world other than by being formed, carried, gestated, within a woman. it's undeniable.  The slogan writer and t-shirt wearer need to sit in a darkened room and think that one through.
No fish will rub your back, no bicycle will bring you hot buttered toast in bed..

 

Older fish may recall Penny-Farthing bicycles.

 

Brrr.

 

Images of mermaids on bicycles are few. Photographs are rarer still.

 

That might be because they have cars.

It is said that "A Woman Needs a Man Like a Fish Needs a Bicycle"

This Blog's research assistant, Professor X has volunteered his services in the quest for knowledge'

Here he is seen about to embark on his mission to discover how accurate is the statement "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle", when applied to mermaids.

Wish him luck.