I am the grit in the gears, the missing bolt, I am the poker of sticks into spokes.
I like to know how things work, but sometimes when I take them apart and rebuild them, I have a few pieces left over.
I am a man, so I tend to leave reading the instructions until after it goes wrong.
And like all men I have a comprehensive mental map of the world and never need to ask directions.
I never get lost, only sometimes I'm late, or end up in the wrong place entirely.
It's what we do.
Oh, come on, now, Tony, we all know Yorkshire is God's own country, it makes sense that he'd put in a handy stairway for his visits.... After all, it saves him having to approach through lesser counties.
I use the ladder fairly regularly these days, as my knee joints were suffering from sudden materialisations, it's so easy, when materialising, in corporeal form, to get the co-ordinates wrong and come into solid being a few inches too high or low. Tough on the knees, even for me, I never did quite iron out all the design flaws in the human body. Anyway, I'm just confirming, in the face of your scepticism, that I do have a very special liking for Yorkshire. As for Soubriquet? Chosen, yes, but why and what for, I can't quite remember, it's not so easy as you might think, being the supreme being, and it really messes up my chain of thought when I have to think through a cacophony of praise and prayer. I thought of making Soubriquet into a prophet, but he declined, on the grounds that past prophets have not always, or indeed, not often experienced an optimum outcome. So we settled on just having a chat, now and then, when he's slacking um, I mean, working, up on the roof, nearer heaven.
in West Yorkshire?
ReplyDeleteOh, come on, now, Tony, we all know Yorkshire is God's own country, it makes sense that he'd put in a handy stairway for his visits.... After all, it saves him having to approach through lesser counties.
ReplyDeletei'm on the floor laughing, soubry!
ReplyDeleteafter that response, i've completely forgotten the pithy comment i was going to leave.
xxx
rdm
ps. oh right: i suppose this makes you one of God's chosen people, then.... :)
I use the ladder fairly regularly these days, as my knee joints were suffering from sudden materialisations, it's so easy, when materialising, in corporeal form, to get the co-ordinates wrong and come into solid being a few inches too high or low. Tough on the knees, even for me, I never did quite iron out all the design flaws in the human body.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I'm just confirming, in the face of your scepticism, that I do have a very special liking for Yorkshire. As for Soubriquet?
Chosen, yes, but why and what for, I can't quite remember, it's not so easy as you might think, being the supreme being, and it really messes up my chain of thought when I have to think through a cacophony of praise and prayer.
I thought of making Soubriquet into a prophet, but he declined, on the grounds that past prophets have not always, or indeed, not often experienced an optimum outcome.
So we settled on just having a chat, now and then, when he's slacking um, I mean, working, up on the roof, nearer heaven.
dear God,
ReplyDeletethis is NOT a prayer. next time you visit, please be kind enough to warn me. i will forward my questions to Soubry.
... damn, that omniscient thing