I am the grit in the gears, the missing bolt, I am the poker of sticks into spokes.
I like to know how things work, but sometimes when I take them apart and rebuild them, I have a few pieces left over.
I am a man, so I tend to leave reading the instructions until after it goes wrong.
And like all men I have a comprehensive mental map of the world and never need to ask directions.
I never get lost, only sometimes I'm late, or end up in the wrong place entirely.
It's what we do.
Saturday, 14 June 2008
The new Thripp-Curmudgeonly Orgasmatron Arriving at Soubriquet Labs.
interesting i suppose if one was looking for a more 'corporate' orgasmatron experience - peace, love, and .... orgamatroning together. A Woodstock for the 21st century ....
Myself? I think I shall remain satisfied by my own personal orgasmatron that sits here in a drawer next to my bed ....
The new Thripp-Curmudgeonly Orgasmatron is most definitely not just any old corporate orgasmatron. Using the music of the spheres it channels cosmic energy and cccccccconcenttttttttttrates it, oooooooooooo! oooooooooooh!, aaaaaah, sorry, just ummmm aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! It's a, oh! oh!mmmmmmmmmmmff! ummm...........
Richard! Thank god! I had lost all hope of finding you.... It's a long shot, I know, but I'm hoping you know the whereabouts of your great-grandfather's secret journals. They were, it is rumoured, so secret, he used to blindfold himself whilst writing in them... and would not tell himself where they were hidden. It is rumoured that back in the early days, he designed a counter-surge device, but never found a purpose for it. That purpose, of course, did not then exist, as in those days he had yet to collaborate with the late Sir Randolph Curmudgeonly on the early prototype Orgasmatron. We have a problem. A serious problem. The new orgasmatron is a modern device, built to be as close a facsimile of their mark VI, the one which was destroyed by Arch-Duke Sigismund, after Duchess Cecilie giggled non-stop for a whole month, following her visit to the laboratory. Unfortunately, we have had to use newer materials, which, I think is at the um... nub.. of the problem. Surges, uncontrollable surges in the vaccilator coils of the main reciprocal thrimbobulator. Cecilie took a month to regain her composure. Some of our test subjects may never come down... One shouts "YES, YES, YES, YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!" continuously, another just smiles quietly and hums all the time. I think it is all due to the ridged turbulants on the thrum capacitors having been made of baekelite, when the original papers stated "unicorn ivory" as the material. I just can't find any, no matter how far afield I search... So I need to see if old Thripp ever tried any other materials, and if so, whether any currently available gave safe results. Failing that, I need, desperately, his most powerful surge-damper. Like... yesterday. Please.
interesting i suppose if one was looking for a more 'corporate' orgasmatron experience - peace, love, and .... orgamatroning together. A Woodstock for the 21st century ....
ReplyDeleteMyself? I think I shall remain satisfied by my own personal orgasmatron that sits here in a drawer next to my bed ....
I'm not really one for 'corporate' worship ......
The new Thripp-Curmudgeonly Orgasmatron is most definitely not just any old corporate orgasmatron.
ReplyDeleteUsing the music of the spheres it channels cosmic energy and cccccccconcenttttttttttrates it, oooooooooooo! oooooooooooh!, aaaaaah, sorry, just ummmm aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
It's a, oh! oh!mmmmmmmmmmmff! ummm...........
precisely why i don't participate in cosmic musical orgasmatron experiences: i myself am more of a
ReplyDeleteYES, YES, YES, YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS
NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!
type of gal.....
Ha ha, looks like a powerful weapon.
ReplyDeleteRichard! Thank god!
ReplyDeleteI had lost all hope of finding you.... It's a long shot, I know, but I'm hoping you know the whereabouts of your great-grandfather's secret journals.
They were, it is rumoured, so secret, he used to blindfold himself whilst writing in them... and would not tell himself where they were hidden. It is rumoured that back in the early days, he designed a counter-surge device, but never found a purpose for it.
That purpose, of course, did not then exist, as in those days he had yet to collaborate with the late Sir Randolph Curmudgeonly on the early prototype Orgasmatron.
We have a problem.
A serious problem.
The new orgasmatron is a modern device, built to be as close a facsimile of their mark VI, the one which was destroyed by Arch-Duke Sigismund, after Duchess Cecilie giggled non-stop for a whole month, following her visit to the laboratory.
Unfortunately, we have had to use newer materials, which, I think is at the um... nub.. of the problem.
Surges, uncontrollable surges in the vaccilator coils of the main reciprocal thrimbobulator.
Cecilie took a month to regain her composure.
Some of our test subjects may never come down... One shouts "YES, YES, YES, YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS
NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!" continuously, another just smiles quietly and hums all the time.
I think it is all due to the ridged turbulants on the thrum capacitors having been made of baekelite, when the original papers stated "unicorn ivory" as the material.
I just can't find any, no matter how far afield I search...
So I need to see if old Thripp ever tried any other materials, and if so, whether any currently available gave safe results.
Failing that, I need, desperately, his most powerful surge-damper. Like... yesterday.
Please.